1. | More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. |
2. | Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming
households score below average on standardized tests. |
3. | In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the
home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant
mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in
childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
influenza ravaged whole nations. |
4. | More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24
hours of eating bread. |
5. | Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven
that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a
mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one
month! |
6. | Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low
incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and
osteoporosis. |
7. | Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread
and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as
two days. |
8. | Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder"
items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. |
9. | Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is
more than 90 percent water, it logically follows that eating bread
could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food
product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. |
10. | Newborn babies can choke on bread. |
11. | Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. |
12. | Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish
between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical
babbling. |